Sunday, January 04, 2009

is it really over?

We are home from our Trek to the North. I am so so so glad to be home. Even though it's kind of a messy home, with piles of laundry and half-full suitcases and weird groceries in the fridge, I am loving being home. Why? Because our trip was a nightmare. For me, at least. Christmas morning I woke up with a fever, which lasted for 4 days. I ended up with acute bronchitis and the last 10 days have been almost unbearable for me. Not sleeping, not breathing well, not keeping food or medicine in my stomach. Not enjoying my extended family. Not even really seeing my kids. Not helping with driving home. Not even talking (I lost my voice for about 3 days in there).
We made it home and I went to the doctor Friday. She gave me some shots (steriod and antibiotic) and a cough medicine with codeine. Hooray! Codeine! It suppresses even the tiniest thought of coughing. However, loving codeine too much (1/2 tsp too much) resulted in the WORST headache known to man. And vomiting. This pain/vomiting/crying cycle lasted for 10 hours. I wanted to die.
This is where the silver lining peeks out, finally. In my agony (and I am not overstating the pain I was feeling), I begged dh for what we (in our church) call a "priesthood blessing." He laid his hand on my head and blessed me that the pain would subside. And it did. I felt it sort of drain away, until there was about 15% of it left and I could relax enough to sleep.
I don't often blog about religion, but I can't set this experience aside. God's power is real. I know it is increasingly uncool to think so, but I can't deny it. Life is so sweet--even the difficult parts--when we seek Him out.

I often think of this song by the innocence mission. It's called "Look For Me as You Go By"

Hang my head low, so low.
Don't see me only as I am but
see me how I long to be.
Shining like a flowering tree
under a gray Pennsylvania sky.
Look for me as you go by.
Hang my head low, so low.
Every burden shall be lifted.
Every stone upon your back slide into the sea.
It's me for you and you for me.

That's what Jesus means to me. "Every burden shall be lifted. Every stone upon your back slide into the sea." All of us help each other in this effort, this relieving and lifting. "It's me for you and you for me." A hopeful thought at the end of what was for many a very difficult year. We can all lift, relieve, and help to heal in 2009. That's my hope.


Lindsay said...


I'm glad you're feeling better.

Hana said...

Thank you for your lovely post. It is inspiring to me to read of the faith of others. Especially good friends.

prism said...

oops - that previous post from "Hana" was supposed to be from me. My browser was still signed into my daughter's account - sorry about that.


Patty O. said...

So, so glad to hear you are feeling better. I have been thinking about you and praying that you would feel better and that you would survive that drive home. Thanks for sharing this experience and the verses to that song. I need to see if I have that song on the two Innocence Mission albums I own. Can't remember. I especially like the lines about not looking at me as I am, but as I long to be. This is something I have been struggling with for weeks (maybe months) now. I keep reading things about not judging others and I keep struggling with it myself (judging others and being judged unfairly). Sorry, I am not making sense, but your post has made me think and has put some things into perspective for me. Thanks!

pianogal said...

I so enjoyed reading this post. I'm glad you're feeling better. Being sick is no fun, but being sick on vacation is just the pits.

Kristi said...

What a great perspective on what sounds like a horrible experience. I'll have to look up that song- the lyrics are beautiful!

Angie and Mike said...

You have such a way with words. I'm so sorry you are/were so sick for your trip. We hope you feel better soon and continue to recover quickly.

chiemama said...

Hope you are feeling better everyday. We were all so sorry for your sickness. Thank you for coming up. It was still fun to visit you. Hope you can rest and recover well at your own home.