wait, where did the summer go?

School starts in 8 days. The boys claim to dread this milestone, but secretly I think they're a little excited. I mean, the first day of school is always great in its way, even for adults. Reminds me of an Innocence Mission song (Beginning the World):

Aren't you bursting with butterflies
On the fourth of September
Like you'll have to get on the bus
In your tartan dress, with your lunch box
Though your body is twenty-nine
Though your mind is an old thing

Isn't it true? I'm 38 and I'm nervous about the first day of school for my kids. (I should mention here that I'm nervous about nearly everything, so maybe this isn't a significant fact).

It's not everyday your mom takes you to the shoe store and lets you pick out skater shoes with skulls on them. And that pile of brand-new, stain-free T-shirts on the dresser will never look the same again. It's so sweet, that first day. I look at the kids lined up with fresh haircuts and unblemished backpacks and I just want to kiss them all.

a good plan

The boys have been visiting cousins for 2 days now. I was mostly looking forward to this time: I wanted to deep clean and paint and look for a job in EARNEST, people. And paint I did. The bathroom is now Alaskan Blue and it will have brown and white accents. A nice bracing slightly-brighter-than cadet blue to wake us up in the morning and distract us from the bulky oaky cabinets.

So today I deep clean and buy TP in bulk. That's my whole to-do list. The house is silent. The dog is bored.

The inevitable side effect of a quiet house and time to think while I tape and paint and scrub is, unfortunately, worrying. I'm worrying about the fall--when the boys go back to school and every day is this quiet. The thought of 9 months spent mostly alone is not a cheery one. I've been looking for a job and am having difficulty even finding something to apply for. Libraries are laying off staff here and even closing their doors. I've applied to some retail stores but haven't heard anything. I'm anxious to have something in place--to have a plan. Plans are nice. I enjoy a good plan.

a whiter shade of pale

So I'm sitting here waiting for a phone interview that looks like it might not happen. I jumped through all the hoops, faxed everything in, did the assessment test, and now... nothing. Weird.

So while I wait, I'm (of course) looking at blogs and falling in love with other people's houses. Lately I've been thinking about the Very Tan Family Room we have and wondering how to cheaply change its tanness. I've been trying to muster the courage to paint over perfectly good wood. After looking at this basement re-do, I think I'm going to do it. White reflects light, right? And light is what I need here in the Great White North, especially in the wintertime.

the pup

time-sucker, inhabitant of the 2" under my foot, devoted companion, taker of cute naps...
aka "Buddy"

this is going to be a pain.

Below is a long overdue post, written by hand for reasons mentioned in the text. You'll have to click on each image to read it. It's a total pain, I know.

super easy baby shower invitations

I've loved paper and ink for a long time, but not really in the scrapbooky way. I like calligraphy (not great at it) and stationery stores and, more recently, origami paper. My good friend gave me some beautiful origami paper for Christmas. I was waiting for the perfect project to put it to use. Baby shower! One to which our whole congregation is invited. Perfect! I knocked out 60 of these in about 2 hours.

I'm passing the idea along because it uses pretty paper but it also uses a computer and printer and does not involve lots of tiny little items to be glued on. (I don't have the patience for tiny little items). I like the quick and dirty, easy to replicate project (like these cookies, which made another appearance for Easter).

the fishbowl

Soon after we married, dh and I moved into the super-cheap, cinder block, all-utilities paid on-campus "married housing". (My guess is BYU is the only university with what amounts to married dorms. That's a topic for another day.) The apartment was quite small and the walls dripped condensation in the winter. But it was close to campus and so CHEAP. We were happy to be there.

There were four buildings on our "quad" (hence the name) and they all faced in, with a greenbelt and tiny playground (again, only at BYU) in the middle. I felt this layout would lend itself well to impromptu BBQ dinners and someone pulling out their guitar to play "Edelweiss." Needless to say, we avoided the greenbelt.

I often thought of that quad as a sort of fishbowl for young marrieds. At night the glow of fluorescent light told everyone you were home. A bluish light indicated MOVIE NIGHT! We heard a few loud marital disputes and even some summer lovin'. (I know, gross. We didn't have A/C and everyone left their windows open).

Our first baby lived there with us for 6 weeks before dh graduated. It was then that I really appreciated the fishbowl. At 1:00 am (and 3:00, and 5:00), when Flash was crying his eyes out and I couldn't figure out why I opened the blinds and looked out at the fishbowl. Without fail, there were other lights on. By then I knew the other residents--I knew who had a baby of their own, who was in law school, who was pre-med. I felt a certain kinship and even encouragement as I looked out. This was part of being an adult. Part of being a mom. I could do it.

Recently a friend was (sort of) railing on bloggers. She feels bloggers are probably internet addicts. They have nothing better to do. They are neglectful parents. I tried to explain it, but I probably failed. If I could have that conversation again I would describe it in terms of the fishbowl. No matter what your life is right now, you can look out and find someone who gets it.

the source of the fabric

I had a few requests for the name of the (failed) curtain fabric. It's called Mocca Red and it's made by Keepsake Calico. I bought it at Joann Fabric. Here's the link: http://www.joann.com/joann/catalog/productdetail.jsp?pageName=search&flag=true&PRODID=zprd_08334716a

I'm so tempted to make a skirt out of it. Would that be too much Mocca Red in my life?

curtain fail.

A person who has had only 2 hours of sleep should not make curtains. A person who is too lazy to find the measuring tape should not measure for curtains. (I'm not even sure the measuring tape made it on the moving truck.). It's unbelievable to me that I managed to mess up 2 separate sets of curtains on the same day. I really thought I had measured correctly.


I'm happy with the eventual result on the brown floral curtains, but not loving the tab-top curtains. Ah, well... lesson learned, route to fabric store thoroughly memorized, tension on sewing machine shot. Time to take a break from sewing.

meat + sugar + caffeine ... in a healthy salad!

My saintly mother gave each of her children a binder full of favorite recipes for Christmas. I've added a few of my own to the binder and find that I'm using it almost every day. What a great gift, right?

One of the recipes in the binder is a copycat of the Sweet Pork Barbacoa Salad from a wonderful Tex-Mex restaurant called Cafe Rio. I've tried other copycat recipes and, sister, this is the best one. I'm sure it has everything to do with the 2 cups of Coke, not to mention the brown sugar AND molasses. I'm using my own rice recipe--a favorite for years. This is a great meal for serving a crowd, especially a crowd who wants a meat, sugar, and caffeine rush all at once.

Sweet Pork Barbacoa Salad

Sweet Pork

4 lb pork roast
1-2 cans tomato sauce
1-2 garlic cloves, pressed
1 1/2-2 cups brown sugar, packed
2 teaspoons cumin
2 cups Dr Pepper or Coke
2 tablespoons molasses
1/2 teaspoon salt
Pepper to taste

Spray crock pot with Pam and place pork roast inside. Mix remaining ingredients until sugar has dissolved. Pour over roast and cook on low until pork can be shredded with a fork (8-10 hours). The finished meat/liquid mixture can be frozen for later use.

Cilantro Rice

1 cup fresh cilantro
2 garlic cloves
1 fresh jalapeno chilie, stemmed, or ½ can green chiles
2 ½ cups vegetable or chicken broth
2 tsp olive oil
1 ½ cups long-grain white rice
1 tsp onion powder
½ tsp ground cumin
1/3 cup grated carrot
salt

In a blender, whirl cilantro, garlic, chilie, and 1 cup broth until smooth. In a 3-4 quart pan over medium heat, stir oil, rice, onion powder and cumin until rice is a pale golden color, 5-8 minutes. Stir in cilantro mixture, remaining broth, and carrot. Cover, bring to a boil over high heat, then reduce and simmer until liquid is absorbed, about 18 minutes. If desired, season to taste with salt.

Creamy Cilantro Dressing

2 cups Ranch dressing
1 cup salsa verde (La Victoria or other store brand is fine)
1/2 cup fresh cilantro leaves, chopped or snipped with kitchen scissors
salt to taste

My favorite way to put this meal together is as follows: make a bed of delicious cilantro rice on a plate. Top with a scoop of black beans and a scoop of sweet pork. Cover with romaine lettuce and drizzle with Cilantro Dressing.

hooray for...

The sun. Which has been out, in full force for 7 WHOLE DAYS! Perfect weather for going outside and ignoring the blog!
Loreal Magic Perfecting Base. This stuff is wonderful. Even miraculous. A tiny dab fills in your pores and even (some) wrinkles. I top it off with Clinique Almost Powder Makeup. I'm not sure if I actually look better, but I feel like I do.

The Office. I was sort of bored by it for a bit, but NBC lured me back in with that sweet (and creepy in one spot--nursing a stranger's baby) episode about Jim and Pam's baby. I'm such a sucker for happy family stories, even when they're fake.

This talk by David S. Baxter. I listen to it every day. My favorite part:

Selfless service is a wonderful antidote to the ills that flow from the worldwide epidemic of self-indulgence. Some grow bitter or anxious when it seems that not enough attention is being paid to them, when their lives would be so enriched if only they paid more attention to the needs of others.

The answer lies in helping to solve the problems of those around us rather than worrying about our own, living to lift burdens even when we ourselves feel weighed down, putting our shoulder to the wheel instead of complaining that the wagons of life seem to be passing us by.

plenty of clouds

We had several sunny days last week in a row. All the way home from church we basked in the sun (through the windows of course, it was still 32 degrees outside, people) and talked about how mild this winter has been and I'll admit a tiny part of me believed it was over. I half-expected 3 more sunny days this week and even a brief appearance of cute shoes worn without socks.

This week snapped me back to reality in the form of 8" of snow and a very gray forecast. The newscaster on our local NPR station is fond of using the phrase "plenty of clouds" to describe days like these. One day I will give that man a good punch in the nose. Plenty should be used to describe something wonderful like smoked salmon or songs by Iron & Wine. Incidentally it also describes the number of Hostess "Donettes" I have foolishly consumed today. It is the antonym to the quantity of sleep I got last night.

*photo is from www.5cense.com

this alfredo is a lightweight

I know it's not authentic or anything, but this recipe makes a delicious sauce and does not call for a whole stick of butter or heavy cream. Even my kids like it.

Any Cheese Alfredo-ish Sauce

4 oz light cream cheese, cubed
1 cup milk
1/3 cup grated parmesan or romano cheese OR havarti/gruyere/other cheese, cubed
3 T butter
1/2 teaspoon garlic powder

Cook all ingredients in a saucepan on medium-low until cheeses have completely melted. Stir occasionally with a whisk.

I usually toss this sauce with 3/4 lb whole wheat rotini/penne and broccoli or zucchini. Top with more shredded cheese and freshly ground black pepper.

depression cake

Am I so depressed that I need a cake to fix me? If so, why? Is it because of the weather?(Crappy). Is it because of the state of my kitchen table? (Pictured above, in desperate need of refinishing). Is it the fact that dh doesn't believe in valentine's day? (I'm still making my peace with that). No, no, and no. I'm actually not depressed or anything but I've been making this cake on a weekly basis because it is fantastically delicious and moist and, incidentally, vegan (almost makes up for the 2 cups of sugar). I love that I always have the ingredients on hand and it doesn't have any weird chemical in it like a box cake. It's also sturdy enough to actually be frosted, unlike box cakes.

It's called Depression Cake because my great-grandmother Katie Pearl made it for my Nana when she was growing up during the great depression. My Nana's comment on it was, "This cake is good. Just like memories of my mother." Which is the cutest thing ever.

Depression Cake

2 tsp baking soda
3 cups flour
2 cups sugar
4 tablespoons cocoa
2 cups cold water
3/4 cup oil
2 tablespoons white vinegar
1 teaspoon salt

Mix for 30 seconds on low to combine, then 2 minutes on medium. Pour into prepared pans (I use parchment paper and cooking spray to line my pans). Bake at 350 for 25 minutes for two 8 or 9" rounds.

I frost it with sweetened whipping cream (whip 2 cups of heavy cream +3-5 tablespoons powdered sugar + 1 teaspoon vanilla until sturdy peaks form).

wedding photo time waster

Ah, snow days. Such a nice respite from the frenzied rush out the door, the running around town, the pressure to Get Things Done. A day for snow castles, snow angels, maple syrup snow cones, hot chocolate, clam chowder, and some fairly lame Disney channel shows.

I didn't do any of that stuff. My boys did, and I documented it with the camera and sometimes joined in. What did I do today? (Besides make clam chowder and tuck snow pants into snow boots). I trolled around on wedding photography sites. There are some really cool ones out there. I like carl zoch photography in particular.

I think I'm well past the point of adding photos to my wedding album. Not sure if I could fit in the dress. Pretty sure the wrinkles would show. Maybe some 13th anniversary photos? In super-soft focus?

today I ...

... cleaned out the Bad Carb Graveyard. Wait, no, I didn't eat them all. Those unappetizing lumps are Chocolate Emergency Cookies. Remember those? Maybe not; I just learned that most people call them No-bake Cookies. No matter--they still look gross.


... scrubbed Super Q's skateboarding shoes. He left a note in my purse reminding me to do it.


... wore the Ugly Apron while I cooked up some teriyaki marinade.


... enjoyed this very cool card catalog my sister-in-law gave me. The drawers are just big enough to put CDs in (yes, I'm in my 30s, I still own some CDs).



... contemplated the meaning of these nautical posts (pilings, are they called? moorings? is mooring a word?) in my backyard. If a boat pulls up one day, it'll have a place to dock.

... took a lot of random pictures of little tasks. Feeling kind of done with winter.

it doesn't look like an implement of torture

I made some curtains for the boys' room today. I really love the big circle graphic thing on the right side. I have two curtain-related confessions, though. The first is: these curtains are made out of sheets, sheets that I bought at a grocery store in Texas. Yes, sheets from a grocery store. For $1.99, no less. I saw those groovy circles and knew one day they would grace a pair of curtains. The other confession is that it required 65 minutes, a couple of zip ties and medical tape to get these ridiculous curtains hung. Why? Because I used one of these little numbers:

Yes, the kind of curtain rod I swore after college never to use again. But the hardware was already in place, courtesy of the last owner and I thought, "Why not? People use these things all the time. It'll work fine." This same logic has led to all manner of horrible TV shows, incidentally. "Survivor is so popular! Why not apply that formula to courtship, weight loss, applying for a job, dating, cooking..."

I digress. Suffice it to say that in the time it took to hang that ridiculous curtain rod, I could have gone to Target to buy a real curtain rod and picked up a Sonic Chocolate Diet Coke, thus avoiding a a great deal of frustration and swearing under my breath.

Ah, well. Sleep soundly, my children. There are some lovely modernish curtains to keep out the cold and harsh light of morning. And plenty of medical tape nearby should you require it in the middle of the night.

the all-purpose room gets a makeover

This room was not a selling point when we bought this house. I like to let laundry pile up until it's 3 feet above the hamper and then do it all in one long day while I watch Hitchcock movies and eat black bean nachos. Unfortunately, this room can't hide that all-day process like a nice basement laundry room might. I didn't see a basement laundry room in my immediate future, though, so I updated this room. The Country Blue painted border was making me depressed.

Here's the room now, minus a cabinet above the toilet, depressing border, and towel rack. Pedestal sink to come (soon, hopefully). The current counter/sink situation is blocking the heat vent. Nothing should ever block a heat vent in a Michigan house.

fake plastic trees

Maybe there's some corner of the internet devoted to FREE, scalable, simply drawn graphics that a person could use to make freezer paper stencils. I haven't found it yet. (If you google "stencil patterns" you get LOTS of ivy and even a few country ducks.) I wanted to find a silhouette of a tree, couldn't find it online, etc. As I was cleaning up the family room, inspiration struck in the form of a little plastic tree:


It was perfect! A little small, but I used the famous grid method for copying it onto a larger piece of paper.

Here's the final result--curtains for the kitchen window. Total cost: $2.00. (Clearance linen-blend fabric, fabric paint, freezer paper for stencil.)

(Sorry so dark--I took that picture at 10 am...it's not very sunny today.) Little by little I'm introducing some color into our very tan/honey oak house. Next up: the laundry room.

meaner

So the latest put-down in Elementary School World is "meaner" (apparently). Maybe it's been popular for a long time. We don't have cable so we're slow on the uptake for linguistic trends. Anyway, this week I've been one (a "meaner" that is--I sort of prefer "meanie," it sounds kind of cute and cheeky, whereas "meaner" is purposeful and deliberate). dh has been working late every single night. Super Q has been a trapped in a maelstrom of 7 year old emotions and fake injury. I've had the weirdest and worst sleep (trying to not use the Ambien but falling back on it more often than not). The cutie (the nephew I babysit) has been almost totally nap-resistant, to the point of careening around the house, drunk with fatigue and still waking up the moment his head reaches the pack n' play.

It's so crazy, this mothering thing. Such a struggle between order and discipline and demanding respect and getting the homework and chores done and then letting natural consequences happen and cherishing childhood and making warm memories.

I hope I'm not screwing it up.

(Sorry, I couldn't resist another beehive hairdo photo).