Thursday, December 10, 2009

is it bedtime yet?

Oh, how I loathe the morning routine. Not because my sleep has been incredibly erratic lately (2 days ago I went to sleep at 5 am, today I woke up at 5 am), not because my day now starts 1 hour earlier than it used to (the nephew I babysit arrives earlier than before), not because the bathroom floor feels like an ice rink when I head in there to brush my teeth.

Today I encountered the normal irritants ("Super Q, sit down and eat." "Super Q sit down and eat." "SUPER Q SIT DOWN AND EAT!") ("Flash, did I just ask you to come up and get dressed?" "Yes." "So why are you in bed reading Harry Potter?")

The problem with today is it is our first REAL snowy day. Like snow on the roads, 25* outside. Visions of the VW wagon spinning on black ice dance through my head. I'm terrified of driving on snow and ice. Grew up in Arizona, recently moved from Texas, no real winter driving experience. Which leads me to the last straw this morning.

After 5 solid minutes of sheer bedlam in which no one could find their mittens or backup shoes and socks or any number of other accessories required to go to school on a snowy day (including the daily healthy snack mandated by the school which cannot be goldfish or popcorn but must be cut-up fruit or vegetables) we finally pull out of the driveway... v e r y s l o w l y. And drive to school in the same manner.

The whole way Flash is critiquing my driving. His chief complaint is that I am driving too slow. I explain that I have very little winter driving experience but I have been told to just TAKE IT SLOW and you'll be fine. The child will not let up. "But you're going SO SLOW! Look, that guy is going fast!" Etc. Ad nauseam. I continue to respond in a somewhat sane fashion and then suddenly lose it. Every cliche Mom phrase rushes out very loudly. I definitely said, "I wish I were 10 and had all your wisdom." I might have said, "After all I do for you..." The children exited the car in silence. The 7 year old came back for a kiss. The 10 year old did not.

Would it add to his mortification if I affixed a large, brightly lit sign to the back of the wagon?


Patty O. said...

Oh, wow, if there is anything worse than driving in scary weather, it is driving in scary weather with a really annoying back seat driver who is stressing you out. Couldn't have been fun.

I think your tactics are very wise and actually believe that even people who are used to winter driving should heed that advice. I don't care how experienced a driver you are, black ice is insidious and driving fast makes it that much more dangerous.

Queen Scarlett said...

hahaha I LOVE that bumper sticker. Also... love the new banner!

Maren said...

FANTASTIC bumper sticker. Everyone in Seattle (including me) needs one. Except most are northerners and still don't know how to drive when it snows.

pianogal said...

Hate cold mornings, too. (And morning routines.) Loved this post.

Denise said...

1. That snack thing is rediculous. We have to send a healthy snack but no one has ever told me that it cannot be crackers or a granola bar. Switch to Martell and I'll drive your kids on snowy days. (And don't forget to pack the snow pants, they really play outside on some cold days.)

2. As for the snowfall, sweet Rebecca, it was pretty slippery this morning. However, I must tell you that it is going to get worse...WAY worse. You will make it through, though. After my one year of experience I was driving too fast this morning and slid a few times. I should slow down, but you will be cruising in no time. And it was INCREDIBLEY cold today. It won't always be like that. In fact, the kids will get to spend lots of time hanging out in the snow and leaving you alone!

3. I'm glad that Super Q still gives you a kiss. Only top of the head kisses are allowed in our 6 year old town.

4. Do you want to come over tomorrow? I'm babysitting in the morning from 9-12. Call me.

Elizabeth said...

Hahahaha! I love the way you wrote this. Especially this part: "I definitely said, "I wish I were 10 and had all your wisdom." I might have said, "After all I do for you..." " So funny!!