wait, where did the summer go?

School starts in 8 days. The boys claim to dread this milestone, but secretly I think they're a little excited. I mean, the first day of school is always great in its way, even for adults. Reminds me of an Innocence Mission song (Beginning the World):

Aren't you bursting with butterflies
On the fourth of September
Like you'll have to get on the bus
In your tartan dress, with your lunch box
Though your body is twenty-nine
Though your mind is an old thing

Isn't it true? I'm 38 and I'm nervous about the first day of school for my kids. (I should mention here that I'm nervous about nearly everything, so maybe this isn't a significant fact).

It's not everyday your mom takes you to the shoe store and lets you pick out skater shoes with skulls on them. And that pile of brand-new, stain-free T-shirts on the dresser will never look the same again. It's so sweet, that first day. I look at the kids lined up with fresh haircuts and unblemished backpacks and I just want to kiss them all.

a good plan

The boys have been visiting cousins for 2 days now. I was mostly looking forward to this time: I wanted to deep clean and paint and look for a job in EARNEST, people. And paint I did. The bathroom is now Alaskan Blue and it will have brown and white accents. A nice bracing slightly-brighter-than cadet blue to wake us up in the morning and distract us from the bulky oaky cabinets.

So today I deep clean and buy TP in bulk. That's my whole to-do list. The house is silent. The dog is bored.

The inevitable side effect of a quiet house and time to think while I tape and paint and scrub is, unfortunately, worrying. I'm worrying about the fall--when the boys go back to school and every day is this quiet. The thought of 9 months spent mostly alone is not a cheery one. I've been looking for a job and am having difficulty even finding something to apply for. Libraries are laying off staff here and even closing their doors. I've applied to some retail stores but haven't heard anything. I'm anxious to have something in place--to have a plan. Plans are nice. I enjoy a good plan.

a whiter shade of pale

So I'm sitting here waiting for a phone interview that looks like it might not happen. I jumped through all the hoops, faxed everything in, did the assessment test, and now... nothing. Weird.

So while I wait, I'm (of course) looking at blogs and falling in love with other people's houses. Lately I've been thinking about the Very Tan Family Room we have and wondering how to cheaply change its tanness. I've been trying to muster the courage to paint over perfectly good wood. After looking at this basement re-do, I think I'm going to do it. White reflects light, right? And light is what I need here in the Great White North, especially in the wintertime.