Yeah, but do I have to SAY it?

In the past few weeks I've had 2 separate situations where I tripped over my words... not just tripped but actually exploded with laughter in the middle of saying them. I just can't say absurd phrases without totally losing it. The first was in the drive-thru line at Wendy's. My sister wanted me to order something called a "Baconator" for her husband. (p.s. she didn't really know what a Baconator was, nor had he requested this, but she knew he would LOVE it, apparently because of the bacon factor). I could not get the word "Baconator" out of my mouth and could not stop laughing. The poor man at the window must have thought we had just come from Happy Hour and shouldn't even be driving, much less ordering, irresponsibly. We were weeping by the end of it.

Then I had to call a lawn service for my neighbor (long story). The service is called "Git-er-done Lawn Care" (only in Texas), and wouldn't you know it, the guy answers the phone with a simple "Hello," which means I had to ask, "Er, is this... (peals of laughter) um... (hysterics at this point) Git-er-done?" I don't know what he thought at that point, but he was nice and answered my question anyway.

I'm doomed when it comes to restaurants such as Taco Bell or even Denny's. There's always something that looks good but I cringe at the thought of actually ordering it ("Moons Over My Hammy, " anyone)?

semi-private

So I already used something from the trip to SAS Fabrics by the Pound... and made some new curtains for the bathroom. Here's hoping that the "rain glass" behind those curtains + the sheer fabric = enough privacy. Not like anyone wants to see us performing our daily ablutions, but, you know, just in case. I love quick sewing projects. In fact, quick projects are pretty much the only ones I can stand. No cross-stitch, no knitting (sour grapes because I can't even CAST ON!), no tatting. No macrame (hee-hee, I just love thinking about macrame. What could you possibly use it for except a hanging plant holder?)

Next project is refinishing the kitchen table. And cleaning out the garage. And maybe Pergo?

semi-annual trim fest!

So every time I'm in AZ visiting my family I make my way to this smallish warehouse of fabric remnants, ends, and trim and buys bags and bags of stuff. This time it was lots and lots of trim, including one roll with the words "disco wheels" printed on it. I think dh is going to be the possibly unwilling recipient of some kind of car accessory made with that trim. Everything is SO cheap (15 cents a yard, 99 cents a yard) that I just buy whatever I like and find a use for it later. My mom kept asking me, "Oh, so what are your plans for that trim?" I couldn't ever really answer her. Decorative washcloth? Change purse? Stuff it in a plastic bag and stick it in the bottom of the craft closet? Anything's possible.

sew fun!!

Couldn't help the pun there. What follows is documentation of actual free time. I needed to post it to remind myself that such a thing exists.

Exhibit A is a reversible apron. Exhibit B shows some lightweight baby wraps to be used as a cover-up when nursing or to swaddle a baby in Arizona heat without smothering her.

office hours

What does every young boy really really want? Razor scooter? Video gaming system? Tickets to a baseball game? No, it turns out they really want a 6' molded plastic table.

2 nights ago we purchased such a table and set it up in the playroom. On it we set up all of the arts/crafts/messy/shiny type stuff that normally resides on and around the kitchen table. When the boys woke up, I introduced them to their new OFFICE. And I haven't seen them since. They do come out to present me with chunky bracelets made of pipe cleaners and foam beads. I have noticed a number of signs on the door of their office proclaiming which "cool friends" are allowed in, describing the number and type of booby traps that surround their lab (it's an office and a lab now), and requiring a passcode before entering. The best part is no screens (TV, computer) of any kind are involved in their office work. Wonder what the water cooler conversation is like. I'll ask them if they ever come out again.

McCain...yay?

So SuperTuesday wasn't actually that super. Kind of normal around here. Bit of church service in the morning, play dates for the boys in the afternoon, migraine after dinner, quasi-nap on the couch while the kids watched "Over the Hedge," and then The Colbert Report with Wheat Thins before bed. No biggie. Oh, right, and the Republicans seem to have their candidate.

I've always liked McCain, and not just because I'm from Arizona. He's not the waffle-proof guy I thought he was, but I think he would make a good president. Despite what the Romney campaign's database seems to think, I'm not a registered Republican. (They keep calling and when I break the news that I'm not a Republican, the response is always, always, "You're NOT?" To which I respond, "No, so how did you get my number?" Click.) Anyway, I'm sure Romney's a great guy, but watching him debate/interact with people and reading about him always leaves me with a taste in my mouth similar to that of finishing off a Twinkie. It was sweet, slick, and tasted good but not really that good for me. I'm just not sold on Romney, I guess. At least McCain has years of voting records to show his true colors. With Romney, we're looking at past quotes and contributions, and I'm just not sure what his real beliefs and agenda are. I will admit the corporate ties give me pause as well.

the pie has left the building

OK, so after shelling out 24 bucks for a PTO pasta dinner and sitting by the door selling tickets for 2 hours and not getting a bite of any of it my rage was assuaged somewhat by a FREE PIE ! (Flash won the door prize). It was one of those pure refined sugar/refined petroleum super-long shelf life frozen pies with scary stabilized whipped cream on top, french silk flavor. Normally I can control my appetite and portion sizes, but the past 4 days have been ALL ABOUT THIS PIE... to the point of making myself sick. I'm happy to report that the last of the pie was consumed whilst watching Northanger Abbey on PBS tonight. So it's back to peanut M & Ms and Coke Zero. It was a sweet ride, the week of THE PIE.

me! me!

Another idea snatched from Kristi's blog. This one is a fun little meme:

On My Bedside Table:
Confessions of a Jane Austen Addict
Harper's magazine
A Passage to India
Wired magazine
scriptures
lip balm
ear plugs


Next Up from Netflix:

Meet the Robinsons
Fantastic Four: The Rise of The Silver Surfer
Waitress
Herbie Goes Bananas
The Man with the Golden Gun
Timeline
Aliens of the Deep
The Forsyte Saga
(can you tell we all had some input here?)

Latest Interests:
deep sea creatures
spice rubs

On My Mind:
the presidential election


Learning:
to use creative discipline with Super Q

[Thinking about] Making:
light fabric baby "wrap" for my sister's new wee bairn
curtains for the computer room


Looking Forward To:
pasha's visit!
any and all weekends

Enjoying:
the last of the Ferrero Rocher jumbo pack
the cold weather

Amused By:
the presidential election
the fallout from the writer's strike

fortune cookie mystery solved

Having never seen fortune cookies in Hong Kong or mainland China, I have often wondered why they are associated with Chinese food. The answer is here. Now, on to the next mystery: how did large spring rolls come to be called "egg rolls"? In China, an egg roll is a crisp sweet rolled-up cookie.

Austenmania!

I just read on Kristi's blog that there is a Masterpiece Theater Jane Austen marathon afoot! My heart started beating faster when I read that and then I checked out the offerings and couldn't be more excited... Northanger Abbey, Mansfield Park, Pride and Prejudice, Emma, and Sense and Sensibility--a super economy sized jumbo pack of love, loss, snarky sisters-in-law, poor spinsters, handsome men with 10,000 a year, and the most awesomely subtle proto-feminist that the 19th century ever produced. I love PBS.

chocolate cake = panacea

In response to Patty's question, I did make the "towering" chocolate cake mentioned below. She asked how I made it, so here it my cheater "recipe" made up on the fly from stuff I already had:

1 devil's food cake, with 1/2 of the water called for replaced with milk and 1/2 cup chocolate chips added

1/2 recipe buttercream frosting with 1/4 cup toasted almonds added

Ganache:
3 tablespoons corn syrup
6 ounces heavy cream
12 ounces dark chocolate, chopped into small pieces
1/2 teaspoon vanilla extract

In a small saucepan combine the corn syrup and heavy cream. Bring to a simmer and add the chocolate. Stir until smooth. Remove from the heat and add the vanilla extract.

Make the cake in 2 layers and bake according to box directions. Remove from pans and chill for a few hours. While layers chill, make buttercream and ganache. Slice cakes laterally in half. Put buttercream/almond mixture in between the layers. Spread ganache on top and let it drizzle down the sides of the cake. If you want to spread it instead, add powdered sugar until it reaches spreading consistency (while mixing with hand mixer).

I had leftover ganache and my family was mad that I sent the remaining cake home with my friend who had the birthday (how could I?) so I made another cake, this time from the back of the Hershey's cocoa tin, and man, it's really good. Here's the recipe:



* 2 cups sugar
* 1-3/4 cups all-purpose flour
* 3/4 cup HERSHEY'S Cocoa
* 1-1/2 teaspoons baking powder
* 1-1/2 teaspoons baking soda
* 1 teaspoon salt
* 2 eggs
* 1 cup milk
* 1/2 cup vegetable oil
* 2 teaspoons vanilla extract
* 1 cup boiling water
* "PERFECTLY CHOCOLATE" CHOCOLATE FROSTING(recipe follows)

Directions:
1. Heat oven to 350°F. Grease and flour two 9-inch round baking pans.

2. Stir together sugar, flour, cocoa, baking powder, baking soda and salt in large bowl. Add eggs, milk, oil and vanilla; beat on medium speed of mixer 2 minutes. Stir in boiling water (batter will be thin). Pour batter into prepared pans.

3. Bake 30 to 35 minutes or until wooden pick inserted in center comes out clean. Cool 10 minutes; remove from pans to wire racks. Cool completely. Frost with "PERFECTLY CHOCOLATE" CHOCOLATE FROSTING. 10 to 12 servings.

VARIATIONS:
ONE-PAN CAKE: Grease and flour 13x9x2-inch baking pan. Heat oven to 350° F. Pour batter into prepared pan. Bake 35 to 40 minutes. Cool completely. Frost.

THREE LAYER CAKE: Grease and flour three 8-inch round baking pans. Heat oven to 350°F. Pour batter into prepared pans. Bake 30 to 35 minutes. Cool 10 minutes; remove from pans to wire racks. Cool completely. Frost.

BUNDT CAKE: Grease and flour 12-cup Bundt pan. Heat oven to 350°F. Pour batter into prepared pan. Bake 50 to 55 minutes. Cool 15 minutes; remove from pan to wire rack. Cool completely. Frost.

CUPCAKES: Line muffin cups (2-1/2 inches in diameter) with paper bake cups. Heat oven to 350°F. Fill cups 2/3 full with batter. Bake 22 to 25 minutes. Cool completely. Frost. About 30 cupcakes.


"PERFECTLY CHOCOLATE" CHOCOLATE FROSTING

1 stick (1/2 cup) butter or margarine
2/3 cup HERSHEY'S Cocoa
3 cups powdered sugar
1/3 cup milk
1 teaspoon vanilla extract

Melt butter. Stir in cocoa. Alternately add powdered sugar and milk, beating to spreading consistency. Add small amount additional milk, if needed. Stir in vanilla. About 2 cups frosting.

By the way, I don't usually spend this much time baking. After that much time in the kitchen, I spent much of the next day catching up on "Reviews of new food" at the McSweeney's website.
I was laughing out loud like an insane person. Little warning: the reviewers occasionally find a spurious reason to put the f-word in their reviews, so watch out.

thank heaven ... for grown-up girls

Sometimes I'm just so grateful for my friends here. Although I haven't met many people here that I feel as close to as my sister or certain college friends, I'm just so blessed to have a strong web of church friends, neighbors, moms of my boys' friends. I had a smallish birthday party for one friend today, and it was just so nice, for lack of a better word. An almost spring-like breeze waving through the house, chicken salad and lemonade, grandmothers and moms and wee little babies, toddlers knocking stuff off the coffee table. And then later a towering chocolate layer cake (because there must be chocolate if I'm hosting something, I know it's a cliche by now, but it's become axiomatic in my house). Just laid back and relaxing, talking about mom stuff and politics a little and mutual acquaintances. Just nice.

the haunting, part 2

This disturbing image courtesy of Tony. Thanks, Tony.

the haunting, part 1

This photo has been haunting our house for weeks now. I can't even remember where I found it. All I know is it saved as "David formal." I innocently emailed it to dh, resulting in many printouts of his face popping up in tote bags, briefcases, and behind cabinet doors. The other day, dh was telling Flash, "I really love you, buddy." To which Flash responded, "yeah, right!", and opened the cabinet to reveal yet another printout of David formal. We're still laughing about that one, and David formal still haunts the house.

whew!

The Christmas wrap-up (it's a tired pun, isn't it?)

Best food: these aMAZing truffles with crushed chocolate wafer filling provided by our neighbor. Must locate recipe and eat as many as possible before 2008. Also red chili tamales made by my friend Heather.

Best gift to me: hand-held shower thing installed by dh so I can wash my hair in the bathtub more easily. Now the shower is all his -- to use and clean. Also this funny shirt from my sister.

Best gift given: light-up frisbee (kids loved it!), Ratatouille

Best feeling: watching our kids' excitement, feeling so much love for the Savior

Best song: "Oh Come, Oh Come Emmanuel", monk chant version, provided by my friend on a 3 year old compilation CD. Not sure who sings it, but it's getting some pretty heavy play around here. Super Q's favorite is some Mannheim Steamroller version of "Carol of the Bells" with lots of old-sounding techno tidbits. We listened to it about 30 times on the way home from my library gig. It kept him happy, but I was about ready for a Prozac Icee when that trip was over.

even gingerbread men need to economise

more f minus comics can be found at fminus.net

Thanks to Tony, the artist, for letting me use his comic!

xanadu, how could you?

Last night I sat down with some gifts to wrap, hot cocoa and my new arrival from blockbuster: Xanadu! Do you know it? It was a favorite with me and my sisters in 1980. And now, 27 years later (ok, I am officially OLD), Xanadu has let me down. It's a horrible movie, rife with cliche, including but not limited to: a frustrated artist stuck working for The Man, washed-up but very talented musician ready for a comeback, and otherworldly magical being who doesn't know about "feelings." Throw in some roller disco, big band music, legwarmers with pumps, and Zeus, and you've got a recipe for a fantastic journey only an 8 year-old in 1980 could love. And we did love it. Watching it last night, I surprised myself with my ability to recite parts of it verbatim. Yikes!

For an even more blistering take on Xanadu, click here.

instantly forgettable!

Oooh! Finally my scanner is fixed and I can post this hilarious DVD cover. Sincere apologies to Patty; I couldn't resist. This thoroughly legal and certainly not pirated movie is one of many we bought in China over the summer. First there's the lavish praise supposedly quoted from L.A. Weekly up at the top. Reading on, the text there on the bottom indicates this movie is actually "The 6th Day" starring Arnold Schwarzenegger. Yet the proof of purchase up top by the barcode tells us we're buying a copy of "The Ladykillers." One can only imagine what a mash-up of the three films would look like. Wait... Naomi Watts and Arnold Schwarzenegger? King Kong, maybe?

In a similar vein, while in China we saw many, many fine examples of wacky English. You can see what I'm talking about here.

I hasten to add that my written Chinese is on par with that of a 4-year old, so no offense intended here.

early Christmas present

Oh dear! My favorite band singing "Away in a Manger." Thank you, Santa!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZgrpJfFx9NI

girly crafts

After seeing so many super cute dresses and bonnets and aprons and hairbows on flickr and various blogs (mostly angry chicken), I couldn't stop myself; I had to make some girly crafts. I opted for clothespin dolls and spent way too much time on them. Note to self (and anyone who wants to make them): use hot glue, NOT Elmer's glue, which you will have to just sew over anyway with impossibly tiny stitches, the pioneerish phrase "Hide a knot as you would a secret" running through your head the whole time. Also Sharpie ink bleeds into the wood, causing Dollie to look as if she had just watched "Beaches" and forgot the waterproof mascara, so use paint.
Here's hoping my 5 and 2 year-old nieces love bits of fabric and ribbon wrapped around clothespins. (I keep hearing the question,"What happened to their arms?" echo in my head.)

As with any project, there is a victim of my trial and error approach to craftsy stuff:

She's got her abnormally large eye on you!